24 September 2010

There's Still Hope......

Not a single day we didnt hear, watch or read stories about how violent & crazy our society have become. Killings, robberies, rapes are so normal as if human's life are no longer valuable. Reading newspapers nowadays can be quite nauseous as more than 50% of the stories are made up of violent crime stories. And as I'm writing this, I'm sure another crime occurred somewhere adding up to the statistic.

Unlike before, we now live in fear - not knowing whom can be trusted & whom we cant. A well known neighbour could turn out to be a murderer & worse still, your own murderer. Your business associate night have a different agenda against you which would cost you your own life. Your teacher whom you thought would protect you, could end up be your predator. And your trusted & beloved husband might be the person who would someday rip out the life of your own kids !

These are not made-up stories to scare people off or just for the sake of writing this entry . All these are real-life stories which have been happening right in front of our eyes. It's the kindof stories which we thought would only happen in movies or fictional books. All of our worst nightmares have now slowly taking their place in reality.

Amidst all these terrors, I was sort of waken up from my nightmare yesterday. When I came back from work yesterday, my daughter told me that a stranger just left. It was an unfamiliar looking Chinese man as how she described him. Somebody we've never bumped into in the lift of around our apartment area.

Apparently, that stranger came to return my car keys which I dont realized I've lost. The last time I drove my car was a few days ago & I might have dropped it somewhere without me realizing it. The moment Marsya handed me the keys, I just stood there, frozen. Anger, confusion & relieved took me over.

Angry to myself for being so, so careless. Relieved as things seems to fall perfectly in place regardless of my extreme carelessness. And totally confused of that stranger's existence. Questions after questions came knocking on my head. Who is he? Do I know him? How did he knows those were my keys? How did he knows where I lived?

The only thing that been playing around my mind is the fact that he returned those keys to me. If he knew where I lived, he would definitely knew where my car being parked at. With the keys in his hand, he could have driven away my car just like that. But then instead, he did a noble thing by returning it back to me. It's kind of freaky come to think of it, isnt it?

Anyway, this stranger has somehow given me some hope that there's still kind-hearted person around amidst the vicious surroundings we're currently in. It's good to know that our society are not that so bad after all. Nevertheless, it's still good to be careful & alert all the time. The only thing I regret is not knowing who Mr. Stranger is. Thanking him for his honesty is the one thing I would really wanna do.

What just happened left me feeling very grateful. I thanked God so much for protecting me & my kid from any harm so as for us to continue serving Him in this journey of ours. May God bless us more. Amin.

23 September 2010

Life Is A Gift

Today before you say an unkind word.....
Think of someone who can't speak

Before you complain about the taste of your food.....
Think of someone who has nothing to eat

Before you complain about your husband or wife.....
Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion

Today before you complain about life.....
Think of someone who died too early on this earth

Before you complain about your children......
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didnt clean or sweep.....
Think of the people who are living in the streets

Before whining about the distance you drive......
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet

And when you are tired and complain about your job......
Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wish they had your job

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another.......
Remember that not one of us is without sin

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down.......
Put a smile on your face and think : you're alive and still around

p/s : Credits to Izah for giving me the above words of wisdom...... it is too beautiful not to be shared

17 September 2010

Post Raya Entry

It's Friday today which is the 8th day of Syawal and my first day at the office after a long week of Raya hols. Tough? You bet ! I've therefore decided that today is gonna be a day for me to sit down, relaxed, doing nothin' & let the day pass just like that. C'mon... as it is, it's Friday & to immediately start working after more than 10 days of holidays is ridiculous - my system needs to be re-heated before it could start-up & running. Even a machine could breakdown if it's not being handled with care - what more this 40 year old fragile body of mine !

My 2010 Raya was okay - managed to visit a few of our friends & relatives around Kuantan and the rest are as usual - feed & hibernate. That's the best activity during any festive celebrations. First you eat.....then you go the next phase i.e. entertain yourself with the TV while having good times condemning the actors / actresses in the movies. After some time, without you even noticing it, your eye lids becomes heavier n heavier which automatically transmit you to the next phase, that is the nappy hours. More or less that's how the cycle of my days would be when I'm back in my hometown. It is too contented that I wished time could stand still.

Anyway, I would like to make an announcement here on my unavailability during the past Hari Raya days. One day prior to Hari Raya, my handphone suddenly went dead. I'm not sure what happen but without any warnings / symptoms, it just went kaput. So, to those thoughtful frens of mine who sent Hari Raya sms-es to me, I am terribly sorry for not being able to do the same. My sincere apologies to all.

Anyway, after a week of humongous amount of rendang & ketupat being shoved into my stomach, this is what we had last night for dinner : Maggi Curry. And surprisingly, this particular Maggi tasted like never before - heavenly delicious !

12 September 2010

Who Starts The Fire?

Today is the 3rd day of the Eid celebration & I've just realize that I havent actually wished my readers Selamat Hari Raya. I therefore would like to take this opportunity to wish all of my Muslim readers Selamat Hari Raya & Maaf Zahir Batin - especially to those who are offended by my writings & thoughts.

Just a few days ago, I received a comment from a reader (whom I strongly believe is a guy) who seems to be a bit upset with the way I share my thoughts here in this blog. First of all, I would like to thank Mr Genghis Khan ( as he nicked himself ) for spending his precious time reading my blog. Also, thank you for taking some time to leave a comment to yours truly. Very much appreciated, indeed.

Mr G.K. seems offended with my sarcastic-ism. According to him, as a woman I shouldnt be so sarcastic in giving out my opinions. A woman like me shouldnt be too loud in giving out my view in public. The way I wrote has somehow given me a bad name from the reader's perspective.He added that I am not the only person who has bad experienced with guys and being sarcastic is just not the right thing to do.

To Mr. G.K. - again, thanks for the comments. First & foremost, I am nothing close to Perempuan Melayu Terakhir, who would just sit down & wish to die while other people (mostly men ) shattered their dreams thus ruined their lives. I am very much aware of all the implications due to my vulgarity in writing. And I also knew for the fact that men would hate me to the max after reading my blog.

But then that's me, this is my blog and I'll vent out whenever & whatever things I like. What's the point of having a blog when you cant even express yourself freely? I dont wanna be a fake just to please other people (men in particular). If I feel like cursing them, I'll just curse. If I feel like bashing them, I'll just bash. And I dont need any particular reason to do so.

So, to those guys who despise Red Scoot On The Move so much, adios to all of you. If you cant face the reality or you ego is higher than KLCC to swallow your own pride, then dont bother visiting this blog. I'm not gonna waste my time writing entries just to make myself look good in the eyes of men - so, so not worth it !

My final word to Mr Genghis Khan : Dont blame me for what happened. It's your species who starts the fire........I am just the catalyst to transform the fire into a raging inferno!

02 September 2010

Hari Raya & Me

Time didnt flies anymore these days - it just shoot off like a rocket it seems. For all we know, Ramadhan is nearing to its end and in less than 10 days, Aidil Fitri will be here. And I am grateful to Allah swt for all the strength & health given to me thru out this Ramadhan which gives me the opportunity to be as close as possible to my creator. Alhamdulillah.

As I told my BFF a few days ago, the spirit of Raya has yet to be felt by me. The radio has started playing the Raya songs and yet I still cant feel its presence. Come to think of it, I guess I am sort of numb to Hari Raya. When I said numb, it does not means I've been raya-ing all through out the year that when the actual raya comes, I don feel anything at all.

The moment I'm back to being "single" few years ago, I've resented Hari Raya. It's a day I wished I could avoid. If it's not becoz of my beloved parents, I dont think I would even wanna be home during raya days. Instead, I would visit them few days prior raya & make myself disappeared on the day itself. Obviously, that could never be materialized.......at least not for now.

It's not that I hate raya or despite it. Those who are in my shoe would understand well what I meant or how I felt. Just like other celebrations, it's on this special day of the year where everybody will come back to their kampung to celebrate it with their friends and relatives. Ironically, it's the time where I wish I'm not there with them.

The first year celebrating raya as a single mum is quite a painful, or rather humiliating experience. Everybody will be asking about your spouse & I dont blame them either for asking. After telling them what happened, there'll be a lot more questions to follow. And this Q&A session would have its re-run over and over again for each family / friends who came to visit. Unfortunately if you are not lucky, it'll still continues till the 2nd year - for those who didnt get the chance to visit the year before ~ big sigh ~

At least now things wouldnt be as bad. But then, it's the skepticism that ruled me over. When you are the only one with a kid (without a husband), being surrounded by other "complete" families, it's when pessimism takes place. When they smiled at you, your mind will be telling you, they are just being cynical. When the walked towards you with one hand holding their kid & the other hand holding their spouse, again that wicked devil in your head would be telling you that they are just showing off. I hate to be feeling this way but at times, I just cant help it for I'm just a normal human with lots of weakness & deficiencies, emotionally & spiritually.

Raya would therefore be something that I dont really look forward to. Raya would only means spending great time with my family, with good laughs & good food as well. Raya would means the end of waking up in the wee hours to eat (sahur). Raya would means putting a stop to those daily cooking which I've very much despised these days. And Raya would also means having to say good bye to the shorter working hours (something I'm gonna missed the most).

And next year with the possibility of Marsya raya-ing with her dad, Raya would definitely means a lot lesser to me. Thought of going backpacking to Cambodia - how about that? Anybody keen to join me?