07 July 2010

Things I Hate About Me

Okay, I have to agree that I bitch a lot about men - not that I like doing it but I just cant help it - men are simply disgusting. Besides them, there are a few females who managed to make an appearance in my blog -> both evils & the good ones, unlike men where only their rotten & bad stories are interesting to be shared here. All and all, I bitch almost on everything on planet earth of which some of them are simply for the fun of it. But then, all these bitching & ranting got me thinking.....what about me that I need to bitch about?

So, with this thick face of mine, here are my top
5 Things I Dont Really Like About Me :

1. My broad shoulder. I'm sure everybody has at least one part of their body which bothered them & wish they could change it. For me, it's forever my long, wide shoulder. Not that I'm ungrateful for what God has given me (syukur alhamdulillah) but I wished it could be just a few inches smaller, at least proportionate enuff with that shrunken hips of mine. Okay....okay....another confession : I have more than one part of my body to complaint about - my broad shoulder, my small hips & my teeny weeny boobs. Oucchhhh......that is so embarrassing !

One thing Jennifer Garner & me have in common - a broad shoulder.... but at least she got the boobs !

2. My extra-soft heart. Though I looked tough from the outside, inside I'm so fragile. I trust people and sometimes fall in love with them too easily. And becoz of me being so gullible and vulnerable, I've gotten my heart broken, back stabbed, cheated and other terrible things which ruined some part of my life. I hate myself for always giving to the undeserving people, and for not being able to stop doing it.

I so wanna be mean.... I just dunno how to !

3. Me being too independent. Being independent is undoubtedly, very good. But sometimes, when you are too independent, people tend to take the situation for granted. I sometimes get caught in the said situation I, myself created. People around me always thought I am very capable of anything & everything, that they sometimes forgetting the fact that I'm just a normal human being who also needs attention. Now that I've said that, I hope I wont be getting unexpected amount of attention from my friends suddenly.....hehehe.

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much

4. My inferiority complex. Oh yes, you are reading it right. Most of you must be wondering what the heck am I talking about here? Doesnt sounds like me, isnt it? But the fact is, I am that. I blamed it to my bad childhood experience. I used to be very fat & ugly when I was much, much younger. And boys liked to call me all sort of names - like Fatty, Hippo, Cik Badak etc which really pushed my confidence level to the least. All those self-praises of how beautiful & smart I am are just my way to instill that self-confidence in me - which by the way, is working :-)

Do I really have to go out???

5. My temper. Though it's not as bad as those times when I was younger, it still doesnt do any good to me. Too many people have been hurt & too many hearts been crushed and for some of those, forgiving myself is something I'm still struggling with.

Hold on......dont lose it girl !

Frankly, there are a few more things which I could add up to this list. But then, I'll settled down with these 5 first at the moment. Cant stand bitching about myself that much, especially here on my own blog. Anyway being a human, perfection is beyond anybody's reach. Everybody has their own very flaws & it's up to them to make the best out of it in life.


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