18 January 2010

Lost Love

Marsya & her frens were watching Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gham ( she's so my dotter, isnt she? ) last Sunday. I didnt watch it with them but that story somehow or rather brought back some unpleasant memories to me.

It reminds me of my own experience which was basically similar - the forbidden love. The only thing is that, mine didnt have a happy ending like the one in the movie though. How I'd wish life is just like a Hindi movie. No matter how disastrous it is in the beginning, everything will always end up just like you've wished for. How nice, isn't it?

That was the most depressing episode of my life. It was when I felt living is no longer important coz all I ever wanted is to die. Well, I was very young then & the idea of having to spend my life with a man I didnt love was killing me. Nothing hurt as much as to be parted from your loved ones.......trust me for I've been there.

How far would you go for love? Love knows no boundry - yes, but would you give up everything for love? I dunno about you guys but I'm willing to sacrifice everything for love except for one thing. One thing I couldnt defy is no other than my parents. At one point, the idea of eloping was invading my entire head but then both of us decided not to pursue it. I'd rather let my heart being broken to pieces rather than hurting my parents'.

Looking back, I have to admit I do sometimes regret. Not regretting in a sense of being selfish & break their heart, but regretting for not trying harder. Those woulda.....coulda....shouldas did came bugging my mind sometimes. Maybe if I tried harder to convince them or maybe this....maybe that....so many possibilities but yet they are all pointing to only one conclusion that is fate. I'm sure God has his own way in laying out his plans for me & there's always a reason for all his actions.

Anyway, I'm grateful to be able to love & being loved by somebody as wonderful as him. Somebody who've showed me the true meaning of love. Somebody I thought could only exist in movies or storybooks. And to that somebody, thank you for being there for me. Though we're not destined to be together, you shall remain in that special place in my heart....forever. It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.


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